We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.
First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.
But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.
Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.
We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.
And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
John Steinbeck ist einer der amerikanischen Schriftsteller, die ich mag – auch wenn es viel Gemeckere an seiner literarischen Qualität gibt. Aber ich mag, was seinen Büchern innewohnt: Menschlichkeit. Er war, davon bin ich überzeugt, ein liebenswürdiger Mensch. Davon spricht auch dieser Brief, den er an seinen Sohn Thom geschrieben hat. Der Junge war offensichtlich das erste Mal heftig verliebt und suchte den Rat des Herrn Papa.
Gefunden habe ich diesen Brief bei „brain pickings“. Eine informative und gut gemachte Internetseite über die amerikanische Literatur. Man darf sich allerdings nicht daran stören, wenn sich unter den berühmten Vätern, die an ihre Kinder schreiben, auch ein Ronald Reagan findet.
John Steinbeck is one of the American writers that I like – even if there is plenty bleat about its literary quality. But I like what his books dwells: humanity. He was, I am convinced, an amiable man. Of this also speaks the letter he wrote to his son Thom. The boy was obviously deeply in love for the first time and sought the advice of Mr. Papa.
I’ve found this letter in „Brain Pickings“. An informative and well-done website about American literature. However, one must not be bothered if you also find a Ronald Reagan among the famous fathers who write to their children.